.:~void~:.

hollow shell

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Ahh. Feeling damn crazy today. I went to the playground just now! Haha. Can you believe it. I got the swing! Yay. I got it before anyone else was there. Well actually I think everyone had gone home. haha. The swing is the only nice thing in the playground. The rest are lousy :P. I remember at band bbq I was like running to the playground and shouting I want the swing I want the swing and when we got there there was no swing :(. So loser :(. Fine. Good playgrounds have at least 5 swings :D. Wahahahaha I think I'm going mad. These few days are like really happy days for me because I didn't think about homework at all. Then suddenly just now in school we were like doing nothing and I was like oh damn I should go home and start on the homework. But then I hate taking the bus and I leave it until I really have to go. Which is very sad. Haha. Then even when I got home I went to the playground! ok so now I'm waiting for the verdict. Am I crazy or crazy. There's so much to do and I went to the playground. And I'm blogging. How come school starts so early. So cheat one. But I think I finished most of my homework. Only I don't understand the bio thing :(. I didn't really learn much this term for science. Guess who's my teacher. Surprise surprise! Wow. Like the only bio lesson I learnt and remembered anything is when he didn't come and the other teacher came to teach :(. I hope they test a lot on chem for eoys. I think only the chem teacher can teach. Haha. I tried to get dory today but the mac's doesn't have the toys :(. I think dory's really cute :D. Haha. Fine so I ended up with the fish combo instead and emmaline got my sundae. Don't really like it. I don't like icecream. It's quite duh that the sundae isn't exactly my favourite food :P. I love fries! Aaaahhhhhh!!! Every second of the holidays makes me love fries even more...haha. I don't feel like sleeping. Hmm...maybe I'll start reading mockingbird or something. :( I tried reading it last time but the start already bores me to death. I fell asleep a few times reading it. And then I wake up with aches all over :( from sleeping in a funny postion. [whispers]I think that book is jinxed[/whispers] haha. So lame. Feel very energetic today. lalala. Oh guess what!!! My piano lesson is canceled tomorrow. Actually I don't hate the piano that much, only I get angry when my mom tells me to practise when I don't feel like practising and will practise later anyway. Actually a lot of things are not that hateful after you really think about why you erm resent them. Like I think actually pc monster is quite okay except she has really high expectations so there is a lot of pressure when you are doing her homework. Like you have to do really well or something bad will happen to you. And she is quite unreasonable and wants everyone to fit their schedule into hers. Like she is the only person on earth who has stuff to do and we are all wu liao people who sit around to wait until she wants to arrange something then we can nicely fit her into our timetable. Yeah rite I wish. But she's ok (though I know the next time she does something again, I'll start getting angry at her again haha). I must learn to control. hmm. haha. I remember that day on the bus we were trying to stare at each other without laughing or smiling. haha. I think the second last time was the best, cos the last time we got interrupted when we had to get off the bus and we both burst out laughing. haha. But it's funny when you watch the other person try not to smile and try not to smile yourself. haha. We play a lot of stupid games now. Like the clap clap one. And then now is what. Trying not to smile! Haha. And that day we were walking around and we saw some baby toys. Those kind with the cute huge buttons that you get to press and a sound comes out or music or something. Then we were like pressing and pressing the buttons and playing with the toys :P. There was this dancing barney! haha. So cute. I really miss those times when our work was to press the buttons and everything would come out. Now we have to do stuff ourselves :( and there's still homework :(:(. I want to play that don't smile game but there's no one to ds with. Haiz. whatever. bye.

jasmine 7:37:00 AM

Friday, June 20, 2003

News flash!

Handphone found missing. Last seen at band bbq. Please call 12345678, our multipurpose line, if you find it. The reward is--1 fry?--2! 2!

Next up, we have. What do we have? *shuffles through notes and not-too-obviously sneaks a few into the bin* Two lunatics reported seen in taka in the toys section oohing and aahing over the baby toys! After investigation the police have confirmed that the abnormal behaviour was due to the unnecessary stress from a particular geog project. Witnesses of the assignment of the assignment *hey laugh now*, call 12345678, our multipurpose line, to report it.

Ok. Lastly,--yes, this is the best of all. One article found for newspaper file! Yes! Is that cool or cool! Wow! Clapping and cheering could be heard in the background as the article was held up for all to admire. Not an insignificant number of people struggled to get to the front for a closer look. This article is now framed up and hanging in the highest-possible-security-in-the-world room in the Singapore Art Museum. Tickets for admission into the room are going at twenty thousand dollars each. Call 12345678 (again, our multipurpose line) to book now, before the miraculous piece of art has to be taken down to meet its tragic demise in the newspaper file at the hands of the teacher.

That's all for tonight. Catch tomorrow's news flash again, at 11:03:00 PM. See you! *dum daaaadadadadum deedum dalaladadududum* Don't give me that strange look. It's the music they told me to play.
Let's try this again. That's all for tonight. Catch tomorrow's news flash again, at 11:03:00 PM. See you! *dum daaaadadadadum deedum dalaladadududum dadeedadadadeedadadum dududu dududum deeeeeeeeedum*

jasmine 8:03:00 AM

Thursday, June 19, 2003

It's amazing how some things really get around. How people actually bother to pass them on. Just received two emails I got quite a long time ago sent back to me. From a totally different group of people. Feel guilty for all the mails that people created so it would go around but I didn't bother to send them on. Well. This is stupid I forgot what I wanted to say. Sometimes a lot of ideas flow through my head and I want to blog about them all but I can't remember a single thing I thought about. It's like this chain of fireflies that just zoom past you in a few seconds. And you see the light for that instant but you forget and don't understand after they're gone. Like that geog lesson that day. She was teaching us something out of the syllabus and I understood for about a minute or so until all the questions from the class really confused me and I never got to understand it again :(. Yesterday was very fun! Yay. Haha. Getting dunked is quite fun. Hehe. The games were nice. The voting thing is so cute! The cake was nice. We played bluff and murderer and mafia with the sec 3s. I think mafia is more fun than murderer :D. Haha. Took section photo. I think I was very stupid. I brought camera but didn't take any pictures. haha. Dumb. I was very tired. I just woke up about 3 hours ago. Haven't slept in this late for very long. Very horrible. I hate sleeping in. I always feel extra sluggish after sleeping in. Must wake up early in the morning next time. Must must must. It's a habit already. So waking up at twelve feels funny :( Haha byebye everyone. Till I post again! Not so soon I haven't started on my holiday homework :(

jasmine 11:47:00 PM

Saturday, June 07, 2003

Can't they all just let me plan my own time. It's bad enough I have to do what you tell me to. You still have to tell me WHEN to do it. Shit. And the piano teacher knows I hate the piano now. She was quite nice, like encouraging me and all that. She said I could take I break if I wanted to and continue next year or something. Right. Like my mom will let me. Oh ya that lecture about not using vulgar words cos we don't know their meaning. When she was using the example 'bitch', we were like bitch is a female dog how come you didn't know it didn't your teacher do the feminine masculine thing with you in english. Hehe. Oh ya I should refrain from walking near the staff room now cos if the teachers see me they will kidnap me just to have a talk with me. About how I can improve and all that. :P I haven't seen miss tan. hehe. I was supposed to find her on Friday but she wasn't there. Oh ya Friday. We were sitting there at the table for lunch together. Then after that we didn't leave. We sat there until four oclock trying to sing our own parts for tales. Hehe. Then we sang a lot of other songs. And then we also sang the songs like service medley and grandfather's clock. hehe. It was very fun. Then gek emm and i went to look for the cat. The cute one, not the fat one. Oh ya they tried to bring it to class once. hehe. I wrote quite a lot for this entry. I just suddenly felt like I had to blog everything out. Feels quite nice. Organising everything like that. And it's the holidays. I can sleep, wake up, go for band prac or indiv or whatever, spend some time with you pple, go home, eat, sleep, wake up, hehe. Sounds good to you doesn't it :D. And I don't have to walk along the crowded corridors and risk being called back by teachers between classes now. hehe :D k bye I have to go out now :D life has never seemed so nice recently. Except never really get total freedom. well I guess that's fine as long as it doesn't clash too much with what I really want to do. some control is good. or i'll never get anything done :P. i don't really trust myself to discipline me :(

jasmine 10:59:00 PM

Sunday, June 01, 2003

I was feeling damn short of time today. I had this feeling I had lots to do. Even when I was watching TV I was staring at the clock to make it slow down and hoping the show would hurry up and end. Not that it wasn't nice, I wanted to finish it. But it was like oh man they should be getting to the ending soon like NOW so I can go do my work. Then it wasn't much fun. Then when I was playing the piano I kept staring at the clock to make it go faster so I could get on with my work. Sometimes there's just so much to do and you regret all the times you spent slacking when you could have been doing like real stuff. Like NOW. *hints at myself* *refuses to take the hint* Oh man. AND I should have brought Aleathea home. I haven't practised for 3 days. Now I'm going to sound terrible. Like really terrible. Oh no oh no. I'm doing indiv tomorrow. I'm doing indiv tomorrow. I just hope I don't wake up tomorrow to find out that I STILL have a lot of work left. I had better have time to do indiv tomorrow. Ack.

jasmine 6:56:00 AM

Monday, May 26, 2003

I cried a lot Sunday night. I just suddenly started crying. Then I managed to stop. Then I started again. And again. As in, I just suddenly felt very hopeless and lost and just angry at myself. Why don't I get anything right. Why don't I ever get to do anything I want to. Why do I keep regretting doing whatever I wanted to do. It's like this is a really lousy point of my life lorh. I got like so low for everything. And all the teachers seem to love seeing me so much. They all want me to go and find them. They can go and die man. Like sorry lah. I did so badly this time of course I'll try harder next time I don't need a lecture from you I'm smarter than that man dammit. And my mom finally met my piano teacher that day like wow my teacher didn't really say until so bad but all three of us knew what she was trying to say. I'm like really pissed at my mom nowadays cos now she asks me about piano everyday now. It's bad enough I have to practice everyday but she has to talk about it. dammit dammit DAMMIT. Yesterday was really the limit lorh. She started talking and I just ignored her and stomped upstairs. They all don't know when to leave me alone. I got more motivation than that man. Dammit. And it's like my piano it's not even my fault cos I'm already damn pissed and irritated at it so I don't play well then I get even more pissed and yarh it just goes on. Not my fault I'm not too wonderful at playing the piano. I guess I could if I really tried but I'm really sick of it already. Playing the piano everyday isn't exactly nice. Dammit. Whatever man. Now Miss Tan wants to see me I don't know why. I got quite high for science what. Dammit this is stupid. I really want to like go back in time to primary school or something. Don't ever want to grow up.

jasmine 8:21:00 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2003

They just don't get it. I don't want that stinking cert. I tried telling them last time but they all go oh it's the last grade you should just finish it. Whatever man. I don't actually care lorh. As in. This year I got totally sucky pieces. Oh man oh man. I'm going to fail anyway. Doesn't make much of a difference if I just give up like like now. Saves so much time since I can't pass. Sheesh. Oh happy birthday mable. And happy birthday Sophia one day in advance. :) I think it's really cool how your birthdays are one after aother :). Hehe. k. Yesterday I was damn tired. Dunno why. I slept right after I got home and woke up for dinner. And I was still very dead. I fell down the stairs you know. I was like almost sleepwalking or something. Then I fell down the stairs. Hehe. Come to think of it, I think I was being real stupid. Who on earth falls down stairs when she's walking like really slowly. dotz. Anyway I still hurt all over from the stairs. Yuckz. So loser. In my own house some more. I'm supposed to know it better than any other place right? Right??? Oh well. dotz.

jasmine 9:02:00 PM

Friday, May 16, 2003

Lalang is green lalang is green. Oh man lalang is green. I shall never look at lalang again. Stupid lalang. No wonder my arms felt prickly. There were cuts all over. Shit it. Then now the cuts are like hurting again cos I just washed my whole arm without knowing they would hurt. Oh man. This is stupid. I shall not look at green again. Lalang. Eww. I got this really terrible headache now. Like this sharp pain. I'm just trying to kill myself staring at the computer screen. Oh ya I'll die soon. From lalang cuts and bad headaches. I feel like just collapsing. I never want to wake up again. Like it'll be so comfortable. So happy. I feel like just letting go and losing control of myself. Like go to school late and don't do any homework and break all the rules. It would feel so nice. Throwing away this crap restrained life. Then if they give me dc I'll run away. And run and run. And I will skip dc again and again and then they give up and just lock me up in this uluated place. Then I'll break out and they'll never find me again. Oh man. If only. Imagine like the discipline head coming after me with a chopper. And I'm running and running. If only lorh. Then I could just drop dead while running or something. Shit.

jasmine 7:45:00 AM

Monday, May 12, 2003

I'm trying to memorise Portia's speech of mercy. Don't ask. I can't remember that much. I'm only half way through my part after like half an hour. Oh talk about irony. Like half the world knows I'm always broke. Fine not even half the country knows me. But that's not the point. The point is, Portia's rich. And I'm poor. And she's smart. She actually managed to memorise her whole mercy speech. Hehe. Whatever. I had a nightmare that day. I never have dreams anymore nowadays. Don't know why I had a nightmare. Anyway when I was young I used to make myself open my eyes whenever I knew it was a nightmare. Then that day I was like trying to open my eyes but I couldn't. Bleah. Maybe I'm out of practice. Hehe. Whatever. I think I killed my lips and my tongue and my thumb and whatever else yesterday. We did warm ups for very long. So proud of ourselves. And we practiced three songs and learned the runups there. Yesterday was very fun. Actually didn't want to sign out. And we didn't sign out :P. There were no more sec 4s left to sign for us :(. Hehe.

jasmine 7:35:00 PM

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Argh I think I'm going to get like those kind of sickness that makes you all spacey. I can't remember everything I do now. I was trying to remember what I did that day and I didn't know at all. Dunno. I seem to just float through the days without really going through them at all. I just remember hazy images like I know eyeballs and I were doing indiv together in the drama t but I can't remember what we really did. Like where we were sitting and all that. It's like really irritating when I try to remember something like quite recent but only some unimportant things get thought of. Then the thing I really want to know is like no there at all. I think I'm going crazy. I need another sars break. Oh man I wish all the teachers would just leave us alone.

jasmine 2:05:00 AM

Monday, May 05, 2003

I couldn't breathe at all lorh. As in last time I could breathe, only there wasn't enough breath. This time there was like something pressing against my chest and ya. I couldn't breathe. Whatever. I thought I was going to collapse and die. Obviously I didn't. Sheesh. And I failed too. I was like thinking this is stupid I don't care at all I should just drop dead since I can't pass it anyway. And I didn't die, and didn't pass. Stupid. I seriously don't care lorh. Later there's 5 items. Eww. I'd much rather go for band prac and let them fail me for everything. Stupid. They can go and die.

jasmine 7:37:00 PM

Saturday, May 03, 2003

wouldn't it be much simpler to just drop dead

jasmine 6:04:00 AM

Friday, May 02, 2003

Yarh just read through the finished book. Remember how emm wanted to tear those two pages out. Don't know if you were serious about it. Anyway we managed to stop you :). And I'm glad we did. I wasn't sure why I wanted to try to help stop you at that time. But now I know. It's cos it is also part of our life in rgssb. Her being there. Although she left quite early and I'm not exactly her best friend, she was our sbm. Hmm. Again, glad we stopped you. As in, whatever. I just think it should be there.
I guess. New book=new chapter of our lives, as eyeballs said. We should cherish every moment we ever had. Hmm.
Had orals and science nsw today. wince. And 2.4's tomorrow. gasp. Science was horrible. I didn't have time to finish as usual. And I was rushing at the end. And the last few questions I didn't even do. I just put all D. I didn't even read the questions to see if I knew how to do them. Sheesh. I hate it. Everytime there's a test or exam or anything timed. Either I do the front really carefully (and slowly duh) and rush the back like crazy, or I rush right from the start and get bored at the end. Cos I never bother to check. Cos I know I'll regret it for life if I change a right answer to a wrong one. So got a lot of careless mistakes also. Yuckz. And orals! I think I did really badly. And noelle tay I really ought to beat you up. Draw such a big picture on my arm I bet it gave her a bad first impression :P. I think if the bell hadn't rung the same set of lyrics would appear on my arm also. The one about the lei2 she4 thing. Haiz whatever shouldn't blame others hehe. Anyway do you think if I do like last minute breathing training I will not pant so much for 2.4 tomorrow. Then I won't walk so much then I will pass. Hehe. Should try. How do you do breathing training. Take in deep breaths and slowly let them out? Hmm. Good luck everyone :D

jasmine 7:58:00 AM

Thursday, May 01, 2003

I decided I don't want to do the photoshop heading for this layout. It feels like pure laziness to me. But I think it is because I just know I'll ruin the whole template. I hate it when this happens. Do something you are really proud of. Then when you want to make modifications, you don't dare to because it might spoil the whole thing. It happens all the time. And...dunno...just don't want to do it cos I know I'll regret it for life. Maybe not but yarh. It might change the whole feeling of the page. Just a small twitch could cause the page to feel different. Like in a bigger sense, a small action or word could change your whole life. Maybe you'll be viewed as a potential serial killer and put in an asylum. Or as a budding politician. You never know what will happen unless you really do it. I shall not take this risk :) I think I like my blog as it is. I'm working on another layout :) Dunno. I keep changing my layout. Hehe.

jasmine 8:57:00 AM

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

We were playing together. Adriel Yap was watching and when we finished he was like "Very nice," and we were just like er...oh...whatever. Then they came and said good job sec 2s! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you that really meant a lot to us. We were jumping about and screaming. Strange how same things, when said by certain people can mean so much more. But we never seem to have had a happy time that lasted. I remember f&b. We did it once. They were so happy. And we had to screw up the next time. Sorry. But we could only blame ourselves for that. For not doing it well. But this time, nodody did anything. Nobody's fault. It just happened. Maybe it's this exchange thing. If we get something good we have to get something bad too. Maybe life was not meant to be a happy thing and if we were given a treat, we would have to pay back. Just what rubbish is this.

jasmine 6:18:00 AM

Saturday, April 26, 2003

Hmm if I get into a car accident. And met god. And I had a chance to choose if I wanted to live or die, I seriously wouldn't know. As in, what am I supposed to choose. Like they each have their own good points. And bad. Death would be peaceful but I would never see all the familiar things and people ever again. And I know I'll miss them. Especially the people. Living would mean I get to see all these. And try new stuff. I don't think we get to do that in heaven or hell or under the ground or among the ashes or wherever else we go. But people can be irritating at times and places would get boring. And there would be that irritating cycle of waking up in the morning, going to school, coming back, trying to rush through homework and going to sleep. I really wouldn't know. Which would you choose.

jasmine 7:54:00 PM

Stupid. I just fall asleep on the sofa when I get home and when I wake up at about 11 she's screaming at me. Crazy woman. I didn't practice the piano and she acted as if I'm going to drop dead if I don't practice for one day. I didn't have dinner and she didn't even ask if I as hungry she just went on screaming and screaming about how I haven't practiced the stupid piano. But I wasn't hungry anyway who could still be hungry after being treated like that. And she still wants me to practice that stupid thing in which I have absolutely no interest whatsoever. It's so late doesn't she even care of course not and I'm sure the neighbours will be here complaining later. Since it's so late already what's the difference if I blog a while and play just a bit later. And she KNOWS I'm tired. And she had to drag band in. As if I'm tired because I "spent more than half of the day on that lovely band of yours". Not like it's only today that made me so tired. It's the whole week or even more and she fails to understand that. And not like I don't do anything else in the week. In case she hasn't noticed, I do go to school. And why I don't get to sleep is because I wake up early in the morning for school that idiot. And I sleep late cos I do try to finish my homework. And study if I can. She should read that stupid Readers' Digest thing Sze Min showed me. All she thinks is wrong has to be wrong and she's always right. And she keeps blaming everything on band and whatnot. What about school not like it doesn't take up half my life. If I don't wake up tomorrow she will regret that the last time she saw me she was screaming at me. For no reason. I guess that's why I always practice the piano before coming online. Somehow subconciously I know this is what will happen.
Footdrills isn't so bad as I remembered it to be. I was freaking out during lunch cos everyone was testing everyone else and I was sitting there and I didn't seem to know anything at all. Ya but when it came to actually doing it I realise I can do it like...instinctively or something. As in, I don't know which foot to bang and all that if you just ask me but I guess I could do it if you just tested me straight.
Regret letting myself stop practicing on Aleathea for two days. I sounded horrible for sectionals today. This is the first time I skipped practice and it's going to be the last too. It had better be. Even twenty minutes is better than not practicing at all. I shall practice everyday from now on. Now I have to go practice that piano before my mom comes to scream at me again bye.

jasmine 8:12:00 AM

Monday, April 21, 2003

hi~ jasmine dosen't know what to write... so im helping her write... having com studies now..the teacher rox... and siok should get a blog. having science test later.. haven't memorised the valency table yet. woohoo~ i rawk too... yay... now you can go figure out who i am. :P anway it was gek haha i memorised already you lousy. I didn't finish the maths test. I left the last question blank :P Anyway I'm still going to fail science I didn't study anything besides the table thing :) so zai
yeah right you shall not fail you shall fail really really badly

jasmine 7:38:00 PM

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

My fingers are all red from practicing the piano. And they hurt. Why am I doing this for a piece of paper. How on Earth does a human brain work! ...

jasmine 9:26:00 PM

Monday, April 07, 2003

I have trouble with this few bars of my exam piece. Everytime I get there and get really scared, I stumble. And fall. I just can't help it. Then just now there was once I was distracted. And I just whizzed through the whole part without stopping at all. And I didn't notice it until I finished the song and realised I just played that part. Correctly. It's really horrible. Like this mental pressure. I can't do it I can't do it. But even when I consciously try to go it's really easy let's finish it up properly at myself, I get it wrong. Because the pressure is also there. Maybe greater. Cos the expectations are raised by the self-comforting. And the fall will be greater. So will the disappointment. And then it's like why didn't you do it right it was supposed to be so easy. And the next time I play, the starting pressure is already higher. And it increases. And increases. Sometimes it's good to rest. And try again. Maybe that's why people need sleep. Sleep off all the failures of the previous day. And try again in the new day. And again. And again. All this is but a tireless cycle. On and on, on and on. And at the end, we look back. And see what we have, or have not, achieved. It could be lots. It could be nothing at all. But every single grain of success comes from the pressure. To try again and again. And pride. Not letting yourself admit defeat. Pushes you on, and on. And the rest. To release you momentarily. From your own frustration and anger. Pacifies you. And you rise again to continue going forward.

jasmine 11:24:00 PM

happi burfdae wanxian =)

jasmine 7:36:00 AM

Sunday, April 06, 2003

Her laughter is so fake. It suddenly crashed on me like a waterfall and I couldn't stand it. Everytime she laughed I would remember I had thought her laughter fake. I mean, why does she have to laugh when she doesn't mean it. Like she was just laughing to humour me or something. Or she was supposed to laugh. Or just for fun. It isn't real so why does she do it. It's not like she had to and she did it anyway. Maybe just to irritate me. What was I supposed to do, laugh with her? Or scream at her like I felt like doing. Perhaps I was supposed to ignore her and walk away. But that would have meant she won isn't it. I wouldn't mind if she laughed less and meant it when she laughed. As in, I can't stand her laugh lorh. It's like so fake and it sounds as if she's laughing at you. Or she's just bored and feels like laughing. What's wrong with her. I tried to keep out of her way the whole of yesterday.

jasmine 11:41:00 PM

Watched the 6.30 news. The only things the news reported were about sars and about the war. What do you think of this sars. Actually I'm also quite scared I get it. Could die from it but this kind of things, maybe is ming4 zhong1 zhu4 ding4 one. Like you never know when you're going to die maybe I'll die soon but I wont know until I actually die. So a bit too late for regrets or anything. Must enjoy yourself so even if you die tomorrow or get sars (touch wood) you will die a happy person. :P I'm crazy depressing everyone like that but I think it's true. You never know. But even though I said ming4 zhong1 zhu4 ding4 I also don't believe in this kind of stuff. Anyway we have to decide our own fate and not leave it to anyone else. Yeppz. Should also be careful of what you do just in case it is not ming4 zhong1 zhu4 ding4 haha. Why am I so crappy today. Sorry. Yeppz I watched ming4 zhuan3 qing2 zhen1 too. It's so nice and then there's the part about the death dates predestined in the book. Haha. But yesterday's was so sad. :P k I haf to finish my chinese it's due today. I've been saying that since morning but I haven't started :P. Doesn't that sound familiar...k byez take care! :)

jasmine 6:42:00 AM

Friday, April 04, 2003

Yay! I decided I couldn't wait until school reopens since they extended it. But I want to use photoshop for the heading. Shall wait...or I could download the trial version or something. Shall wait and see :) Thanks yiqing for telling me the codes for the colours I needed for this layout :) I was too lazy to find the list :D Sheesh. Now that I look again, I see...homework. Sighz. Can't wait for school to reopen. Cos if it comes sooner, I'll have to finish it sooner and it won't be there anymore. :P Shows how much determination I've got. I seriously need something to push me forward through my life or I would be stuck there. english. lit. the whole chinese thing. maths. geog task 1. the immigrants thing. I should really buy a dustbin to throw old veggie away in. Or maybe I should try harder to finish it all. It never was like that. I used to finish all my homework the day the teacher gives it, or the next day. Now it's been 2 weeks. I've changed. A lot. I don't take my work so seriously now. I don't know if it's good or bad. All the homework piles up, but come to think of it, I feel a happier person. Things will work out one way or the other. No need for me to worry about them. Yarh somehow I feel lighter. Is that good. Doubt so. But who cares. chuan2 dao4 qiao2 tou2 zi4 ran2 zhi2. Oh it's all 2s and 4s. So cool. Never realised. Realise we never realise until we put things down systematically. And suddenly everything just pops out at you and it's like it was so obvious why didn't you notice it. We should think things out properly. Not just dream. And forget. And things start anew. And you don't get anywhere. Proud of myself. The sbblog turned out quite nice, for a self-designed page. Piglet was a disaster. And this [crushed] was only nice because it was from the layouts website. Increased in self-confidence. Yeppz. Hope my new layout is going to be nice. I'm going to make it myself. Didn't have much confidence at first cos of my first layout, but now I know I can do it. Feel much better. Not just an unsure space. Nothing to cling on to. No confidence, no inspiration, nothing at all. Now there is a plan for me to work along. Yeppz. Just hope everything turns out fine. I don't know why, I keep going yeppz now. It's like this stuck thing. It used to be ya. Then yarh. Then a combination of both. Then now is yeppz. It's one of those words that I always use. It'll change someday :D

jasmine 10:09:00 PM

testing layout. Wish me luck :)

jasmine 7:42:00 PM